New Computer Eyes

I really do hate most people. I don't say this to be cute, I really do. I find fault in everyone, and judge ever so harshly. I am upset that my friends say one thing, do another. I hate that because I am engaged I am suddenly undesirable as a friend, and a woman. I hate that when I put faith in someone, they let me down, and all I can do is compare degrees. I hate placing my happiness on others when my instinct urges me to retreat.

I am disappointed, lost, and a little happy that my fears came true. No, they were not irrational, like most said, they were utterly true. Irrational fears are just those that rational people deny.

Also, my grandfather totally has throat cancer. Nothing they can do for him. He's too weak. A few months? A year? Who knows.

Cruise Ya Later

I had a dream last night that Adam cheated on me. I could talk about how that is sad and depressing, but I wont. Really it was just cooly disappointing. I said get out. I went to talk to my friends. No one was around. I went to some support group. Blah Blah. I just think that Adam cheating on me would rock my core of humanity so much that even my dreams half ass it.

Working at the YMCA is cool. I work out now in the morning. Which is good, cus I need excercise up. Lost a little bit already.

How I Met Your Mother is awesome. I want to suit up. I am ready to suit up.

It is Way Past X-Mas

Yeah, so I haven't written in here for a while. A long while. I had no job, nor internet, for about a month and a half. But now I have half internet (work internet) and a job! Woo Hoo!

I now work at the Westside Family YMCA. Its great. Yay! Does anyone else here kermit when you write the words yay?

I beleive I have a super power, a power hidden away in my very soul, but if I told anyone they would think me silly or stupid. I generally beleive most people beleive me to be one or both of those things all the time, but there is no reason to add to it.

My legs hurt. Working out is hard. I bet like a million gillion dollars that in 6 months I will neither look diffrent nor feel different. I don't loose weight. When you trim off a leaf from a giant tree no one ever notices.