Worst Week Ever

So, in case people are concerned, I don't have much good news, but the possibility of good news.

So my dad said that the wedding plans aren't actually off, yet. Most likely they will be, but we can always hope for a miracle. Right now I just want to make sure my mom is ok. Its her birthday today and all she gets to do is sleep and watch t.v. Well actually that sounds pretty cool, but I'm sure she wishes she could at least go out for dinner or something.

Anyway, Oktoberfest this weekend. I hope thats gonna be awesome, because it sounds like it.

Also, I beat Silent Hill 3. It was good.

From this time on I promise not to get too personal on this site. It just lead to bad things a happenin.

I'm Done

Is there an off switch for the world? Just for a little bit? Because it keeps going, and I can't keep up.

Wonderful, Wonderful World

*My mother needs spinal surgery. Its not covered by insurance.

*Wedding plans are off for the moment. Sorry guys, but no wedding in NJ.

*Big fight with Adam regarding money issues. Turns out my parents aren't the only ones with unexpected expenses.

*Was pretty much alone all weekend wallowing.

*We need to move away from the best apartment ever to a crap hole

I am not even going to begin to say how upset I am. I think its pretty obvious. Having to forgoe your dream wedding is tough enough, and then have your mom pretty sick, well it just seems heavy.

New

The Late Night Visitor

My leg began to itch.
I could feel each dust particle fall onto my skin,
and like a falling domino, my entire body began to burn.
My sleep heavy eyelids opened.
I could hear the rain outside, tapping my window, wanting to come in.
I was not alone.

I got up.
I blinked and I was in the shower, washing away the dust.
The burning subsided, but I wanted to stay longer, under the water.
I sat down, and opened the shower door.

I saw the finger first.
The knuckle, large and blue, caught my eye.
The ring seemed to rest so precariously on the edge.
I wanted to push it back up to the palm of the hand,
as I often do to my own ring, when it shifts with movement.
It was too heavy, the ring, it didn’t fit that knuckle.

There was no need for a towel when I stepped out the shower.
I was just going to go back to bed,
and with the heat, a little air on my back felt good.
My toe began to wiggle
on its own.

She wanted me to stay awake.

Hole in my Throat

How I Met Your Mother is really funny, really it is.






No one agree with me?




Well then fuck you.

Puzzles are Fun

Weekend ~

Fri: -1 year anniversary. Very fun indeed. Great Thai food and a fun trip to Target, where I found my halloween costume for $1.00. I am very proud.

Sat: So much fun. Puzzles, Target, Greek Food, Friends, and a random phone call from my best friend in jr. high. Strange, but wonderful times I must say. Sometimes hanging out with my friends is so good :)

Sun: Emmys. Yes, they are very boring. I kind of wished I hadn't invited people over only because I wanted to turn the TV off and go to be early, they bored me that bad. I really just don't care about awards. I want to know good shows receive awards, but I don't want to actually view the ceremony. I forgot this fact when I invited 7 - 8 people over. I can't really turn the TV off then. Woops. But there were lemon bars, and I really like lemon bars.

Other notes ~

Some crazy stuff with my family right now. My father believes his brother and sisters hate him, which is just upsetting and makes me really really angry. Also, my mother is flat on her back until she has surgery for her herniated disk. My poor parents do so much for others, and always end up with shitty things.

Ok, So Next Year My Name Will Change

-1 year anniversary.

I wrote this pity party entry, but then erased it, because I am not a sucker. Basically I still feel the same as yesterday, but I'll forget about it at one point.

It's really weird when Depression even bores you.

I am so jealous

Because my friends somehow manage to make their dreams come true. They own their own business, make their own cds, write, and in general do what they have alway wanted to do.

Me? I'm still trying to figure that one out.

Supposedly I am a Nerd

So, according to my soon to be husband, I am a big nerd. I am very surprised he didn't figure that out sooner.

Tonight is the premiere of the Gilmore Girls. Hot!

Also, tonight Asa has kindly offered to design our Save the Date cards. I am very excited, and have already picked out a design. This will link to our wedding home page....which you can visit at the following:

www.rauschermartin.blogspot.com

It has lots of fun stuff (mainly for parents and such, so not as fun as you might think)

The Travels Made Me Sick

I am back. Please, don't get up.

Adam and I registered at Macy's. If anyone is interested you can go to the Macy's website and type in my name (as all registries are under the bride's name) and see what we picked out. My favorite, the matching waffle robes. But in general registering was not as much fun as I had hoped. You shop for 3 hours straight and bring NOTHING home. How lame is that. Although eating at Ikea for lunch was the BEST idea ever.

My lost obsession has been brought back. Jesus, I thought I was totally over it. Instead my Veronica Mars obsession has died down knowing a few things that I do about next season which may lead me to Hate it. Yuck. Yucky Yucky Yuck.