New Computer Eyes

I really do hate most people. I don't say this to be cute, I really do. I find fault in everyone, and judge ever so harshly. I am upset that my friends say one thing, do another. I hate that because I am engaged I am suddenly undesirable as a friend, and a woman. I hate that when I put faith in someone, they let me down, and all I can do is compare degrees. I hate placing my happiness on others when my instinct urges me to retreat.

I am disappointed, lost, and a little happy that my fears came true. No, they were not irrational, like most said, they were utterly true. Irrational fears are just those that rational people deny.

Also, my grandfather totally has throat cancer. Nothing they can do for him. He's too weak. A few months? A year? Who knows.